When you Stop Posting in your Journal or Blog or Community for a while

This might be a long story. Please just stop if you won't read it until the last period or not interested. You might just miss some good stories though.

OK. That was a long post title. I planned to just use That was a Real Hiatus as a title for this blog post, but I decided to copy the meaning of hiatus en toto, instead. It could be a real change. So, yes, titles for my blog posts starting today will be a meter long.

Table Tennis I

I have a background of table tennis when I was in high school. I was already senior that time. I tried to play with the younger students and had an idea of the game, and then I graduated.

I really thought I would not be playing that sport again, but thanks to SABM and to those kind people in that room. I was able to learn the game so much.

I can still remember that time I entered that PE room where the SABM table tennis team is playing. There was Darell, an old pal standing at one end of the table, playing with someone who is easily identified as a member of the team because of his body movement and the way he played, not mentioning the uniform he was wearing. He is Mac. I smiled and watched them finish the game. And then I was introduced to the people inside the room. That was the beginning of my table tennis story in the university.

I met Mabs, John, Sheree and other members of the team, people who never said "You do not belong here" despite the poor games I've been showing. They gave me a chance to change my game, the way I move on the other side of the table, and later I felt better. I played better games.

I can still remember how they laugh at me when I hit the ball. Kuya Stephen even mimicked my movements, so I realized that I should listen to them. I accepted that I have to practice a thousand times because I know I have to.

Now, I am in my fourth year in college. I have been playing table tennis in the past two years but never have I considered to be serious about it. I do not yet own any racket then not until lately when I decided to buy one. I chose to use long pips in my BH and I must say, it's fun! But I have to master yet the rubber I'm using.

I can hear the sound of the balls bouncing on the table. I can hear the screech of the shoes moving around. I can hear the sound of the spins and drives. I am really excited to see the development of my game.

Second Semester and Free Will

The second semester has taken me back to the days of studying in Viga. It reminded me of the salad days in that Elementary school where I also first felt the pressure and importance of studying harder. Although I would say that I didn't give my all in this semester for the heck of me being this lazy and happy-go-lucky fella, I couldn't stop asking myself, "Was it a wake-up call for me?" It rang a bell.

I felt like it was a body call too, that I laid low and became a satisfied mediocre person much as I wished to be. But in the process, I was taken aback of everything I did – not so good for one who knows that he can do better. The sin of omission, they say.

My law prof has been mentioning this in our class that it is not good to choose not to act the way you should have been when you could have done better and you know you are capable doing of. I could not make an excuse because I know I am guilty.

I had three Accounting and two Law subjects this semester, which made it challenging. I swear I studied 401 to the limit, but barely read Labor, 203 and 303. It’s a shame.

To say the least, I am still proud that I fared well, although I hated myself for being so blind of this statement of grumpy Deneil Young, that if I am going to try [something], I might as well aim for the top.

I learned a lot nonetheless during this semester. I got closer to some old friends and acquaintances before and met a few people – friends I could already say. Drawing circles again! Aha.

And aside from the heavy books I carry every day, I added some novels, again, in the cabinet. I read another Grisham and found a new author. It's better to read than not read at all.

One hurrah moment maybe was being able to familiarize myself with teachers and students. But you know, I had a seatmate I never talked to but there are also those whom I built battery with (in baseball, it is when the pitcher is synched with the catcher). I have to thank them for playing a good game.

One simple act of two great professors delighted me so much. I received a Snickers from a prof for being attentive "daw" during her classes when what I only remember was nodding and smiling (just kidding ma'am, I learned a lot from you not just the lessons we have in our book), and a "libre" from a prof who has been teaching in the university for almost 20 years and is just so humble that he can make friends with young people like us. They are very admirable.

My thanks and admiration is also to this professor who shared simple, but BIG words for us students who are in pursuit of a dream. May we reach the end.

I would like to congratulate everybody who did not quit the battle. Our sleepless nights will be rewarded soon. Getting what we deserve will make us really happy, and getting more than what we deserve is another blessing. Yahoo!

Going back to mediocrity, I realized that whatever people may show us, it is still our option to follow our inner voice. Yes. What’s good in life is that until we do not die, we experience these things and then we learn something about them. We realize our actions and we reflect on them.

There is so much for one to hold. There are those we cannot control, those we couldn't live up to. There are also those we already have: ones we deserve and not, ones we ignore while others long for, ones we enjoy, but ones they loathe, and ones we are thankful for but the ones they cannot appreciate.

THIS IS LIFE. What are we supposed to do?

Let's use our free will.

Looking Back: 1st Sem 2013

June was just an ordinary start of classes. There was this same prayer of having the job well done. 

Nervousness was hidden on everyone's eyes. Fingers crossed, students prayed that the most terror would not enter their class and the kindest would instead. It was not an assurance though, that the best is of the kindest, and the worst equates to the terror. A week later, some were relieved and some were already stressed. Some did not get the challenge while some boasted, "Bring it on!"

I could feel the intensity of every exam we took. All are serious; It's like a matter of life and death. But not everyone who comes in front and gets his yellow paper showed victory. Some undeniably accepted a lost battle. I, for example, lost my first battle, too. Bloody red, I took my revenge and wielded my sword better than that of my first and drew first blood. Prelims was not a joke.

Midterms. Lessons just got harder. I focused on 302 and forgot the other. No wonder of getting a 70 in my 202. What a heartbreaker. On the other hand, getting 8/10 in the deptals of my 302 somehow balanced it off. I learned my lessons. Maybe. I was so happy yet disappointed of myself because I know I could have done better.

Finals was a huge wave. Projects, reports, and some other works were given so we need to at least feel like "surperhumans." We felt some relief when the departmental exams for both law and accounting classes were finished. We prepared for the Final exams; we prepared for the semestral break. But before the sem concluded, typhoon Santi came on the Philippines. So exams were suspended—another drama happened.

A poem from Contemporary Glasses rather summarizes the sem experience

ALL WAS WELL

It was five months…

Understanding the contents of a red book

Dealing with mockeries thrown to a mall

Keeping me updated of environmental problems

It was five months…

Solving R(x), C(x) and P(x)

Getting the derivatives of functions

Doing well with numbers and letters

It was five months…

Knowing an obligation and a contract

Winning the game of requisites

Listening to Desiderata

It was five months…

Knowing how to manage production

Mapping facilities layouts

Discussing a lesson projected in a white screen

It was five months…

Completing a research

Creating a usable system

Managing to boost an initial 7

It was five months…

Accounting for a home office and its branches

Dealing with business combinations

Knowing foreign exchange transactions

It was five months…

Learning property, plant and equipment

Understanding liabilities

Accounting for equity

It was five months…

And all was well yesterday night…

Thanks bro for letting me use your poem. Este salamat kahit ko hindi na `pinagpaalam pa.

***

Priority

Isang normal na gawain ng mga isang estudyante na kapag walang maluto o tinatamad magluto ay tatakbo nalang sa kainan. May budget meal kaya hindi mabigat sa bulsa at siguradong mabubusog dahil may sabaw pa. At tiyak na mas marami ang ibibigay sa'yo kung suki ka na nila. Samahan mo na ng kaunting kuwento para siguradong makukuha mo ang pakiramdam nila.

Nasa isang karinderya ako ng gabing iyon at kinakain ang paborito kong meal. Maganda ang mood ko ngunit nagmamadali dahil marami pang kailangang tapusin at kailangang basahin. Hindi ko na pinansin pa ang palabas sa telebisyon at minadali ang pagkain.

Sa kabilang mesa ay may isang ale kasama ang kanyang anak na kapwa ko mag-aaral din. Alam ko dahil minsan ay naging kaklase ko siya sa isang subject. Nag-order sila at nagsimulang mag-usap.

"Kailan ka gragraduate anak?"

"Hindi pa ngayong taon ma."

May takot siyang naramdaman sapagkat ang alam ng mga magulang niya na matatapos na siya nitong taong ito.

"Akala ko ba last mo na to?"

"Hindi pa ma."

"Eh, di dapat sinabi mo na ng maaga."

"Ang alam ng ate mo, gragraduate ka na. Kaya sabi ko sakanya, kaunting tiis nalang."

Iniiikot-ikot ng anak ang cellphone at nakayuko.

"Maraming gastusin yung ate mo. Pero naki-usap ako na kung maari tumulong kasi nga gragraduate ka na," paliwanag ng ale. "Dala ko yung perang kakailanganin mo ngayong sem na ito."

Nahihiya na ang anak, kaya hindi ito makasagot-sagot. Pero naglakas loob rin itong magpaliwanag din.

"Ma, marami pa akong kailangang kunin na subjects. Bagsak ko yung iba."

Ay naku po. Tumingin ang magulang sa anak at pinili nalang na umpisihan ang pagkaing kanilang inorder. Hindi ko na hinintay pa na matapos sila. Inaabot ko ang bayad ko sa kahera at tumuloy sa boarding house.

~

Sa buhay kolehiyo, madaming pasiko-sikot at bawat liko ay maraming kuwento at pagsubok, ngunit ang sayangin ang mga bagay na pinaghirapan ng ibang tao ay isang pagkakamali. Oo, minsan may mga pagkakataon talaga na babagsak tayo sa isang subject ngunit hindi naman ata pwede na ibagsak mo ang isang subject dahil hindi ka nagbigay ng interest at panahon. Yung isinakripisyo mo ang panahon ng pag-aaral sa mga bagay na hindi naman ganoon kahalaga. Ang gusto lang naman nila (magulang natin) ay matapos ang pag-aaral natin at bigyang halaga ang lahat ng binibigay nila. Estudyante tayo kaya naman, alam na dapat natin kung ano yung prority natin, hindi ba?

Sa mga kapwa ko estudyanteng lumalaban, pagpalain nawa kayo ng Maykapal. Sa mga estudyante namang tinatamad mag-aral, gumising ka.

Lost and Found

I've been worrying so much about these notebooks that I lost last Wednesday during the pre-enrollment. I tried to search but was not able to find them. Just this Friday, in my Law class, my professor suddenly remembered something while we were talking (my sit is just in front of her table). I was wondering what it was (why the sudden), and then she showed me two thin notebooks. I asked her how she found it, and then she told me that a student approached her and asked if she knew the owner. My departmental exam paper where my prof's name was written was with the notebooks, so the student was able to give them to Ma'am Macon.

Thank you, Lord. I thought I would rewrite my notes again.

  

[Wednesday, September 25, 2013] I left the house early in the morning to get myself pre-enrolled for the second semester. The queue was not long yet; I could count the heads easily. Few hours later, the number increased, and the place got noisy. The associate dean unlocked the door, and whispered that the enrollment for our year level would begin in a few hours. Only to found out that the dean already decided that it will start 1 p.m.—five hours to wait!

We're dead. Students couldn't contain their disappointment and gone outraged. I was disgusted with the management, but we couldn't do anything.

Brains started to work! Some students tried to control the crowd. Suggestions were raised regarding the assignment of numbers to students to ease the process, but it was rejected. We waited for the management's decision (wishing they might consider our side) but nothing came. So, we waited until I had to attend a class because I had to do a report. The one-hour discussion was so long. I rushed to the 10th floor. Unfortunately, the pre-enrollment was already cut-off.  

There are several students who were hoping to get inside, but the door was closed already. My friends who were inside the pre-enrollment hall were talking with some authority to allow us to be admitted inside. We lost hope, but no, I was able to open the door and entered secretly. Students who saw me entered as well. Some student assistants saw us (but they could hardly identify us), and asked to voluntary exit ourselves. I was guilty but I chose to remain. I waited for the final decision of the management and was admitted after all.

It was already five when my friends and I were all enrolled.

World within Worlds

It was October when the first semester ended. I left the city to see my family in Isabela. It was cold, silent, and dark when I packed my things up and rented a taxi. I carried my very heavy luggage containing all used clothes I was not able to wash, books I thought I would not be using anymore, and belongings I found unnecessary. I looked at myself while thinking of all the wonderful things I had that semester. Bravo? No. I was not satisfied.

Pondering.

November was not that good. After a week, I had to book my way back to Baguio to avoid another traveling drama. Unluckily, the day before the classes start was fully booked, so I was in class the next day.

It came. I saw my classmates, observed all of them, marked the silent, the noisy, the good-looking, the not-so-good-looking, and the friendly. I had all the right. It was a long day.

A month had passed, but it was the same the first day. We have our own worlds. We preferred South, they chose North, some enjoyed the oceans, while others went East and West. It was a world separated by indifference and exclusiveness. 

Immobile.

The environment we created was not invigorating. We were dead for quite some time. As we tried to fill the gap, we had minutes of connecting and probing. 'twas late when we realized we can make an Eden of our own.

What now? All we had in the first weeks were maybe all surmise. But, they are no longer important. What matters now is that we had quite some time learning each other. We judged quickly -- typical. However, here we are, finding it hard to bid our goodbyes as the end of the second semester is approaching.

Five months minus a month of adjustment was not enough.

But, I am still happy because we were able to climb mountains. The rivers and hills might have been cruel, but the journey was well worth it.

It is sad the story has to end this way.

Semestral Break Reflection: Bye First Sem, Hello Second!

After being enrolled in the university, I immediately went back home to spend the rest of my vacation in Isabela. I am lucky enough to have at least one more week to rest and be with my family. It took me almost four months to finally have this break, so I will try to maximize and enjoy the break.

I have to say that I learned a lot this sem. Not just about accounting and academic matters but also social matters. I earned some friends and knew more about life. Knowing different walks of life is such a wonderful experience. When I knew that I have the worse problems in the world, I learned that I am still luckier or more fortunate than the others. I learned to give respect  and became more considerate to the people around me. I've heard their own stories—about their painful experiences. Those, I will forever cherish and store in my heart.

1054 Steps to Home

There was an awkward feeling as I took my walk way home alone.

My friends and I had a good time watching a horror movie, the Paranormal Activity 3. It was not a scary movie nor a shocking or hilarious one. It was really not. What only made me watching it gruesome was a friend who kept on shouting until the movie was finished. But to see yourself with your valued friends is no ordinary. I felt that yeah, I was so blessed having them in my life. When the movie was over, I accompanied Ivy and Sherzee on their way home together with Axl. We had fun on the way. On my way back, Axl and I parted ways. So I continued walking alone. I reached the crossing and didn't found Adop, another friend I left waiting for a ride home also. Maybe, a jeep had come earlier. It was really awkward. I was scaring myself so I decided to walk faster until I reached the seminary. It was cold and only a dim light was giving a picture of where I am walking through. Across the road is an abandoned house. I didn't try to look at it because I might see something out there, so I never dared. I was still walking very fast. At last, I reached SLU. Wow, I had a bad feeling as I continued. I was fast approaching Quibad’s Place when a shadow caught my attention. I just passed on that shadow when I felt that someone was there. None of course! Ahahaha. I was laughing because my heart jumped scared. I was laughing at that time while staring at the shadow. I was actually counting my steps. I reached 600 steps already that time, and I nearly got lost on my counting.

I reached home.  I really had a good time. I thank God for everything. 

(July 2012)